McRaider

Summary: For the past three days, Jack had been non-stop, running around, chasing people and enjoying his time, but the Doctor noticed one thing, he never looked like he was in the moment and he never touched anyone or let anyone touch him. It was as if he was just passing time.

Author’s Note:  This is my response (finally) to COE. It is also a little bit of my absolution between the Doctor and Jack and last but not least it’s my warm as I’m writing one of my scripts today, I wanted to get my feet wet again with characters I know and love.

Rated: PG-13 for possible Language.

Warnings/Spoilers: COE ep 4 and 5 (granted I’ve actually only SEEN the last ten minutes of 4 so really episode four.)
Thanks: Thanks to my beautiful beta slashed42

            For the past three days, the Doctor had been watching Captain Jack Harkness run around every planet they’d landed on, like a chicken with his head cut off. To the usual and normal bystander Jack wasn’t any different than normal. He was running around, he was flirting, he was laughing and being his usual boisterous, loud self.

            But the Doctor knew Jack, he understood Jack, because while the Doctor felt Jack was wrong…that he didn’t fit in his world all the time, the Doctor loved this man beyond reason, as did the TARDIS. The Doctor knew without a doubt that something was very wrong with Jack.

            The Doctor had been swirling around a distant dying star, making sure things were going well and there would be no glitches of late, when, to his surprise he received a startling message on his psychic paper, one that reminded him of another message and another Earth.

            Doctor: Come quick, I need you.

            Was all it had said, the Doctor knew immediately where it had come from, and he knew that if Jack was asking for him to come, the Doctor had to be there. What had surprised him however was where he landed and what he found.

            Jack sat in the middle of a desert sea shore. Staring out at the ocean, in his hands he held a tie. The Doctor had noticed it had been a beautiful silken red and black tie. Jack had it tangled around his hands as if it was a life line.

            “Jack?” The Doctor questioned, sitting down beside the man, hoping to perhaps pulling something out of his friend.

            “I need to get lost,” Jack murmured.

            The Doctor understood that need well, the need to escape all that is known and be lost in movement. “Why.”

            Jack hadn’t shared, said he wasn’t ready. He didn’t beg, he didn’t push, he just asked for the Doctor to help him lose himself for a little while. The Doctor looked at his friend and smiled sadly. This man had done so much for them, he’d fought the Daleks-twice, he’d been killed multiple times, he’d stood proud against the Master and most of all he saved an entire planet everyday with his work at Torchwood. To say the Doctor owed this man, was putting it mildly.

            “Very well.”

            It didn’t escape the Doctor where they’d been sitting, the BoshanePeninsula, a vast desert planet well known for its architecture and so many great things. Jack was born and raised here until he was almost fifteen. The Doctor remembered Rose telling him about this once when he was really drunk.

            Now, three days since that moment, the Doctor had noticed many things in that short time. First and foremost, Jack didn’t let anyone touch him, nor did he touch anyone. Jack was a man of great expressions and great physical touch; it’s as if he thrived off of it. The Doctor first noticed it, when Jack hadn’t greeted him with a hug-at any point, it however continued when Jack flirted, but he never really looked into it. Jack was lost, and the Doctor feared he couldn’t find the man he’d once known.

            The Doctor sat in the console room, considering the charge he’d brought on and he realized sadly, that Jack hadn’t been the man he’d once known for a very long time. Sure there were hints, the flirtatiousness, the boisterousness, and the humor. Overall, however, Jack had fundamentally changed from the outgoing, carefree man he’d been, to a more quiet and reserved man who hid parts of himself from all those close to him. The Doctor recognized that he was at fault for most of that.

            Sighing, the Doctor pushed himself up from the seat in the console area, and headed down his ship’s hallway. Jack had taken to hiding in the bowels of the ship more and more at night. It worried the Doctor, but he understood Jack’s need to disappear from the world…the universe. The Doctor’s only concern was if Jack continued on this road he’d lose himself completely.

            Something had happened to Jack, something that was causing a lot of pain, and while the Doctor had some ideas, he didn’t want to force Jack into telling him anything until he was good and ready.

            The TARDIS buzzed around him, filling his mind with one location. The Doctor jokingly called it the Room of Requirement after he’d read the fifth book of Harry Potter. It was a room that transformed into anything  the user’s desired. It could replicate locations, smells, feels, and even people, if the user wanted or remembered them hard enough.

            The Doctor pushed the door open and was overwhelmed by what he saw, he knew the TARDIS was capable of almost anything, but this stunned him. He stood in a vast underground area, and it looked like the underground of the Rahl Dahl Plass. It looked like Jack’s hub for Torchwood Three.

            Voices filled the air, the Doctor looked over and he saw a young man, a lab coat over his loose jeans and grey jumper. He was laughing as he tossed a balled up paper at a young Asian woman-who looked strangely familiar.

            “Oh come on Tosh, admit it, you thought he was cute,” joked the man in the lab coat.

            The Asian woman simply rolled her eyes, but to the man’s surprise she tossed the ball back, missing him however, the ball landed directly in a cup of steaming hot coffee behind him a man, Ianto Jones, The Doctor knew that man, Jack had introduced them, looked surprised.

            The Doctor, and clearly the other two, waited for the younger man to explode, but Ianto simply sighed and shook his head as he put the tray down. “Look what you’ve done, gone and messed up the Captain’s drug-he’s gonna kill you,” Ianto joked smirking.

            Just then another woman,Gwen, stepped into the room and looked at the scene before her, “Please tell me that’s not my coffee.”

            “No, it’s Jacks.”

            “What’s mine?”

            “Nothing at all!” Owen lied, grinning as he looked over at Tosh, “I was just standing here giving Tosh a hard time, she fancies the man we just interrogated.”

            “I do not!” Tosh replied glaring playfully at him.

            Meanwhile, Ianto slid the mug behind one of Owen’s many sitting on his desk. Gwen bit the inside of her lip while she looked between her friends and teammates, “Oh come on Tosh, even I could see you were smitten.”

            “Who says smitten anymore?” Owen asked.

            “Hey I like that word!” Jack crowed, as he walked by, his eyes lowered as he looked Ianto up and down. He slid from the room into his office, but his voice filled the air, “Owen you owe me a cup of coffee!”

            The girls and Ianto chuckled while Owen shouted “What!? Why, Tosh threw the ball!”

            “But you threw it first. You owe me coffee.”

            Laughter filled the air and suddenly the scene changed to another one. The Asian woman and man in the lab coat disappeared. Laughter still filled the air, but this time it was only Ianto Jones and Gwen Cooper. They were playing basketball to the Doctor’s surprise.

            Ianto had his arm around Gwen’s waist as she tried to shoot, the Doctor didn’t know much about the game itself, but he was pretty sure what Mr. Jones was doing would be considered a foul.

            The Doctor looked for Jack, but didn’t see him anywhere, and that’s when he heard it. A soft noise coming from the corner, glancing over, the Doctor noticed Jack sitting on a couch, watching intently, but tears lined his cheeks.

            Glancing back over at the pair, he watched as they disappeared. “Jack?” The Doctor questioned softly.

            “Not him,” whimpered Jack.

            Standing up, not seeing the Doctor at all, Jack stepped over to Ianto, reaching out and touching the image. “You should be resting,” Ianto’s image whispered as he stopped playing the game and turned to Jack, “You…you bled to death, Jack-“ Ianto looked completely torn at those words.

            Jack, still crying barely held his composure as he simply nodded, “You took care of me.”

            “Of course we did Jack, we love you.”

            Jack snapped, he desperately tried to wrap his arms around Ianto, but the image disappeared with the attempt. Jack dropped to his knees; face buried in his hands and began to cry. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed, “so sorry.”

            He realized, at that moment, why Jack was here. Stepping forward, the Doctor crouched down next to Jack. “He’s safe now Jack,” the Doctor whispered, hoping his words were true.

            Without hesitation, Jack leaned into the Doctor’s body like a child craving physical contact and he began to cry. “Not like this,” he sobbed, “Not him,” he cried. Dropping to his knees, the Doctor wrapped both his arms around Jack, holding him close, resting his head against the Captain’s head.

            “I’ve got you, Captain. You’re safe.” He murmured softly, rocking the man back and forth as Jack sobbed. He pressed a kiss to the top of Jack’s head, feeling his own tears burn. The last time the Doctor had seen Jack, the man had seemed on top of the world, despite the death of his two teammates and the Daleks, he was overall fairly happy, and Rose told the Doctor, and it was all because of Ianto Jones. Now he was a shell of a man. The Doctor recognized the pain, he knew it well. He’d suffered it on more than one occasion.

            He could remember standing at the wall, sobbing wishing desperately for Rose to return. He’d gone back to that wall more than a few times, and more than a few times he’d considered returning to the moment to save her. He’d never told her, but he loved her beyond words. The Doctor knew how Jack felt. He understood all too well how it felt to be ripped from the person you loved the most.

            “Why him,” Jack sobbed weakly into the Doctor’s brown suit. “I took him, it’s my fault.”

            The Doctor knew well enough that Jack wasn’t looking for answers; he was looking for comfort and protection from himself. “Jack, you’re going to get through this, I promise. Just keep breathing.”

            “I want so bad every moment to beg you to turn around and save him.”

            The Doctor sighed, hating himself for his answer, “You know I can’t do that.”

            Jack gave a small nod against his chest. “I miss him. I miss them all, I hate this. It’s a curse, what if I never die. I’ll out live everyone.”

            The Doctor was all about not telling people the future; he understood the ramifications perhaps better than anyone else. But at this point he knew the only harm it could do was good. “Jack, look at me.” Two beautiful blood shot blue eyes met his and the Doctor smiled weakly. “You are going to die, and you’ll die surrounded by me, Martha and a good friend. Not only that you’re going to die saving a planet you love more than anything, and when that day comes for you, I have no doubt you’ll be proud of the legacy you leave behind, not to mention the beauty you gave for your final breath. You’ll be greeted by all those you’ve loved and lost. It’s going to be a long time Jack, but you’ll have a lot of people you love, maybe not as much as Mr. Ianto Jones, but everyone will be deserving of the love you can offer them. So don’t you dare give up, okay?”

            Jack looked at him and nodded slowly, “I miss him, I’ve done so many things-“

            The Doctor pressed his fingers to Jack’s lips and hugged him close again, “You are not guilty of anything on this ship Jack, or in my eyes. You did what you had to do for the planet you loved. It hurts to sacrifice those you love, from loved ones to children. But sometimes, it’s required.”

            Jack nodded as he leaned into the Doctor again, “Did it hurt this bad?”

            The Doctor looked down; Jack was slightly more composed, but still damp from his breakdown. “Did what hurt this bad?”

            “Rose?”

            “Oh yes, I ached…I still do for her.”

            “When I’d heard she’d died-“

            The Doctor nodded, “I know, to see her after believing I’d never see her again was both painful and beautiful all at once.”

            “Will I ever see him again?”

            The Doctor sighed, he wasn’t sure, he hadn’t seen all of Jack’s future. There were ways and things that could occur that could ultimately reproduce another Ianto Jones in the world. The Doctor wasn’t against the ideas of reincarnation. “I believe that anything is possible in our universe, and that perhaps one day you will meet your Ianto Jones again, in some form or another.”

            Jack seemed to settle slightly at this, The Doctor shifted, sitting down behind Jack, he took the man in his arms, like a lover or perhaps a big brother. He really did love Jack, perhaps more than anyone else, because they were so alike now. The Doctor had originally seen him as the petulant little brother, and now it was so easy to see they’d caught up in their age, still older, but very close. Yes, the Doctor thought, Jack was a brother in so many ways.

            “I’m so sorry, Jack,” The Doctor murmured as he continued to hold his Captain.

            “It hurts, I still smell him, I can feel him all over me.”

            “I’d love to say that you’ll get over it, but you never quite get over this feeling.”

            “I don’t want to,” Jack replied gently. “I was in love with him, really in love with him.”

            “I know,” The Doctor whispered pressing another kiss to Jack’s head. “I know.” He had to believe to some extent that if there was some and occasional big cosmic plan and Jack was a part of that cosmic plan, than the people he met along the way were in some small way too, the Doctor just hoped maybe Ianto Jones was a bigger part of the cosmic plan than they all thought.

The End.